Six years earlier, as soon as I was 17, I started sprinkling tobacco in my joints because it’s scientifically prrange to be finest means to consume pot. Within a pair months I was cigarette smoking 5 to 10 hand-rolled cigs a day, then 10 to 15 by the year’s end. At some point I switched over to Marlboro Lights to look cool as fuck, and also in the years given that, cigarette smoking has actually absolutely taken a toll.

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I obtain winded after a couple of pushes, I obtain sick even more frequently, and my urge to smoke only proceeds to flourish. I tried to quit cold turvital however that just lasted around a month prior to I was sucking down stogies aobtain.

Due to the fact that I don’t desire to look prefer old Andy Roy after I hit 30, I made a decision currently was a great time to provide quitting another swarm. But instead of quitting with no setup, I tried some dumb self-help techniques to make it happen. As Mark Twain said, “Quitting cigarette smoking is easy… I’ve done it thousands of times.”




What: Drink baking soda + water twice a day.

Why: Anypoint through the word cocktail in it seems worth a swarm. According to some medical websites, baking soda is highly alkaline, which suggests it “neutralizes toxins and reduces acidity”. Acidic bodies are even more prone to addiction, so if I stuff my self complete of alkaline that basically implies I won’t want to smoke anyeven more, right?

How: Mix a tablespoon of baking soda through an 8 oz glass of water. Wait till the baking soda is totally dissolved and also drink it. Do this twice a day for one week, then when a day for the next week. I did this when in the morning and when at job-related during lunch since those are the times I smoke the the majority of throughout a weekday.

Results: During the 2 weeks I tried this method I did finish up smoking a little much less than normal. I smoked roughly five cigarettes a day, or 1/3 of my usual intake, yet I don’t know just how a lot I credit that to the “cocktail,” which tasted like flavormuch less and flat seltzer water. Maybe it was the boring drink that cut dvery own my craving, or perhaps it was bereason this was the first method I tried and I was deep in the “you have the right to carry out it” perspective of quitting/content production. But I am proud of smoking fewer than 10 cigs while obtaining drunk off real cocktails at a party.

Effectiveness: 2/10



What: Eat a dog treat eincredibly time you smoke a ciggie.

Why: I’m going to go out on a limb and say some really sick fuck came up with the one, and I guess that provides me a sick fuck considering that I tried it. The rationale here is that the mind will certainly start to equate cigarette smoking via something that tastes bad. Because I’m conveniently grossed out by specific foodstuffs, I figured that if I was required to eat somepoint nasty as soon as I smoked it would certainly teach me a lesson I wouldn’t shortly forobtain.

How: Allow yourself to smoke cigs whenever and however much you want, yet make sure you’re diligent about the consequence–eating a dog treat for eextremely cig. For an added bit of discouragement, I bought ones that were shaped very obviously like little bones so that once someone saw me around to munch dvery own on among these puke-flavored delights, the confusion and also judgment would certainly throw in some extra social discatalyst.

Results: I virtually threw up multiple times during this trial bereason the odor and taste of these treats were so potently disgusting. My girlfriend made certain that I was eating them after I smoked once we were together. And if we weren’t together, it was so awkward taking the dog treats out by myself in public that I would certainly save them for later and also eat them favor a meal when I got home. This sucked. I was certainly smoking less in the time of this week of the trial.

Effectiveness: 7/10



What: Have someone you treatment about shame you eexceptionally time you smoke.

Why: I guess I determined to carry out this technique. By that I mean I decided to be through my companion, and also she determined to shame me for smoking cigarettes. Ideally, this strategy will inevitably bring about an ultimatum: a lonely life of cigarettes, or loving affection and also companionship. Real smokers know this ain’t as basic a decision as it sounds though.

How: Find someone that doesn’t want you to die and isn’t afraid to tell you you’re going to gain cancer, and make certain they’re dedicated to a lifestyle of smoking cigarettes shit talk. Here are a couple of key phrases my girlfriend has found specifically useful: “You smell prefer shit currently,” or, “Wow, so you’re just going to die of cancer and leave me here?” Also, there’s the additional ascendancy of no kissing or anypoint if you’ve recently smoked.

Results: This approach was good for as soon as I was about my companion. If we were laying on the couch and also I had the urge to smoke, I wouldn’t do it because that would certainly ruin the pleasant time we were spending together and rearea it with death risks, guilt trips, and also no kisses. But if I wasn’t via her for a lengthy amount of time… spark up those Marb lights!

Effectiveness: 8/10



What: Hit the Juul rather of the tobacco.

Why: Replacing the age-old cigarette through the sleek vape pen cuts dvery own on the amount of tobacco you’re absorbing and renders you look fucking stupid as hell in the process. So I determined to offer the Juulio a go.

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How: Whenever before you feel the urge to smoke, just whip out the Juul. Keep that sucker charged and your pocket complete of flavor pods and substitute one addiction for the other. At initially, I was skeptical to hit it in public, however then I realized that everyone’s doing it almost everywhere, also children at the skatepark are Juul’in. So yeah, you could look really lame, but the dude that simply front smithed the handrail at the park likewise Juuls, so it’s “cool.”

Results: This did not aid me, at all. My nicotine intake most likely doubled bereason of this. I can’t smoke cigs in my apartment, yet I can Juul. This means that while I write, check out, play FIFA, take a shit, or hit my bong, I can additionally suck down that sweet, sweet nicotine. The halittle bit was not broken, it was simply transferred and also intensified.

The absence of study on vaping’s permanent impacts is likewise something that renders me nervous. For all I know I can be better off inhaling actual smoke out of the classical cig than take a hit off Zigram’s dick.

Effectiveness: 5/10


METHOD 5: Hypnosis

What: Get hypnotized to cancel your craving for cigarettes.

Why: After giving all the other approaches a shot, this was the last and also most extensive suggests I attempted. I realized that addiction hides in your subaware, and also the just method to fight it is to have actually a middle-aged Eastern European male tap right into your mind with some old Svengali shit.

How: Do your study and also find a reputable and affordable hypnotherapist in your location. I checked out a neighborhood New York guy I found on Google, who quizzed me on my halittle and why I wanted to quit, and then tried to put me in the trance. He told me to stare at a spot on the wall and really focus on it, empty every little thing out and discover an imaginary suggest between consciousness and also unconsciousness. The remainder is sort of hazy, and also all I really understand is that my eyes shut, my body felt light, and also this guy talked to me for 40 minutes, but it only felt prefer a few minutes.

Results: I felt more spacey than usual as I left this man’s apartment. My body felt loose and my mind felt clean, and rather surprisingly, I haven’t had actually the urge to smoke tobacco or nicotine in a pair of days. I even went residence and tossed a pair cigs in the trash. I don’t understand exactly how lengthy this will certainly last, however I think it has had actually the the majority of alleviating and prompt impact on me. This is the just strategy that I would whole-heartedly recommend out of this brief and pain-staking trial.

Effectiveness: 8/10

Guinea Pig: Larry LanzaIllustration: Michael GiuratoShare this with a cigarette addict on FacebookReport this as Big Tobacco Propaganda on InstagramLight up through us on Twitter